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My last piece, Bittersweet
, was inspired by a lot of things that have happened recently - and a great deal of confusion that has happened since.
I have a friend that I have an interesting relationship with - by interesting I mean, we relate and communicate in ways that other people don't seem to, but it works for us. I'll admit that I've had strong feelings for him when we were first getting to know each other. At that time he made himself clear that it wasn't like that for him, and I have since locked those feelings in a box and stuck it on a shelf in the attic, never to be looked at again for fear of losing the friendship (or my mind).
That happened about two years ago, and we have been fairly good friends since.
I won't claim that we were the best of friends and that we shared everything, but there's a good deal of acceptance and hard work to understand each others point of view. Every once in a while that box in the attic rattles out a reminder of those original feelings, and I distract it with something else; a pretty face; a nice body; a combination of both (which often results in my artwork). But I found ways around it. I've grown quite accustom to denying myself my feelings as men I'm attracted to rarely ever return those feelings... as a result I can honestly say I have given up on the concept of finding love in this lifetime...Anyway...
Then 'That Night' happened. Everyone gets those moments when they, or someone they care for has a little too much to drink and they become more vocal about the things/feelings that they keep hidden.
The things he said and admitted to....It blew my mind.
So, as the saying goes: One thing lead to another...
I won't pretend that I'm ashamed of what happened or that I regret that it did. In fact the only regret I have is the confusion we're both now going through, which, if I'm correct in my analysis of the timeline of the songs he wrote, their subject and the potential that it may relate to that night - then he is not only confused but also hurting.
So there you have the condensed version of what has happened, and how it relates to the work I have just posted,
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